


The Deal We Made

by cherrysprite



Series: Quarantine Fics [3]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Bisexual Liam Dunbar, Boys In Love, Childhood Friends, Childhood Memories, Childhood Trauma, Falling In Love, Family Dinners, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Friends to Lovers, Gay Theo Raeken, Getting Together, High School Reunion, Internalized Homophobia, Love Confessions, M/M, POV Theo Raeken, Platonic Female/Male Relationships, References to Depression, Reunions, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Theo Raeken Loves Liam Dunbar, Theo Raeken Needs a Hug, Wedding pact, Weddings, Writer Theo Raeken
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-01
Updated: 2020-04-01
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:34:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23436259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cherrysprite/pseuds/cherrysprite
Summary: Theo and Liam made a deal when they were in the fifth grade when they were on the swingset in recess: "If we're both not married by the time we're thirty, we'll marry each other." After they drifted apart, Theo had forgotten all about their pact, but when he meets up with Liam at their high school's ten-year reunion, he's in for a big surprise.
Relationships: Liam Dunbar/Theo Raeken
Series: Quarantine Fics [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1691383
Comments: 23
Kudos: 196





	The Deal We Made

**Author's Note:**

> This is finally done!! AAAH!! I hope you enjoy this, I'm very proud of it :)

"You remember that deal we made in fifth grade?" Liam asked him, and though it took a minute to register, Theo almost spit out his drink.

+++

For Theo's sake, let's snap back for a minute to the deal in question. To make a long story short, because really, the story would be long enough with Liam bringing up said deal, it goes like this: Theo moved to Beacon Hills in what should have been second grade, but since he'd moved around so much, he didn't have enough credits to move up from first grade, so he was the oldest in his class. Then, as luck would have it, he had a severe asthma attack that landed him in the hospital for awhile and set him back _another_ year, which was how he met Liam. Liam, who he found annoying as hell from the beginning, who just so happened to turn out to be one of his closest friends. He was the only kid in the class that didn't assume he was plain stupid or had something wrong with him because he had been held back so much, so they stuck together.

They were friends for four years by the time they reached fifth grade together. They had shared injuries and failed grades, crushes and "heartbreaks" together, and despite some obvious personality differences between the bubbly Liam and more sarcastic and reserved Theo, they stuck by each other's sides no matter what.

It was a hazy memory now that Theo was pushing thirty, but he could see the initial event clearly enough to know that it unfortunately _did_ happen. They had been on the playground, the swings, probably, and Theo remembered comforting Liam after he got rejected by his classroom crush when Liam mentioned it. "I heard something my mom was joking about," Liam had lead with, kicking his feet that didn't quite reach the ground on the swing until Theo got the hint and pushed it for him. "She said that there's a thing called a 'wedding pact.' She saw it in a movie one time. It goes that if you don't get married by the time you're old, you marry whoever you made the pact with."

"That sounds weird," Theo said, pushing Liam on the swing and narrowly avoiding getting kicked in the head. 

"We should do that," Liam said, and now that Theo was being forced to remember it, he realized that the little _burst_ feeling he got in his chest that he didn't understand then wasn't that hard to understand after all. "If we're both not married by the time we're thirty, what if _we_ got married?"

Twelve year old Theo had thought about that for a second. "But we're two boys," He said like it was nothing. "It doesn't make any sense."

"I don't see what's weird about that," Liam said. "My mom says two boys get married all the time. Like my uncle Will."

"I don't know, Liam."

"We should do it. It'll be fun if we got married. We already spend most of our time together anyways, so why not? We'll just be old enough!"

Theo, even as a chronologically-advanced fifth grader, knew better than to argue with him, so he agreed. They didn't bring it up again, not that year, not throughout middle school, and not before they started to drift apart bit by bit in high school. By the time they graduated, any thought of their marriage pact had been forgotten. It was hard not to forget when your best friend eventually became just a face in a crowd of other people. The details tend to fade away.

+++

So it was a shock when Liam remembered it at their ten-year high school reunion, which was, what, seventeen years ago? It was even crazier that he remembered it after they had drifted apart. He wondered how boring Liam's life must be for him to be talking about a crazy idea he'd had for about five minutes seventeen years ago.

"Oh my God," Theo groaned, shaking his head with an amused grin and taking a sip of his drink. "I can't believe you remembered that, I'd forgotten all about it."

"Well, it wasn't all me, my mom asked if I was going to see you tonight and reminded me about it," Liam admitted with a shrug, setting his cup down on the table he'd wandered over to a few minutes earlier. "I didn't think I would, actually. You didn't really seem like the type of guy who would come back to their high school reunion."

"Yeah, well..." Theo trailed off, looking all around them. The blue lighting, streamers, and sparkles, plus the music that had been popular ten years prior, was really taking him back to his prom, which he hadn't been very enthusiastic about going to, either. He remembered that more clearly than the deal being made with Liam, but it wasn't a memory he liked to replay very much. "Tara forced me."

"Tara, huh? How's she doing?" Liam asked. "I didn't get to hear about how college was going for her by the time we kind of drifted."

"She's fine, she's good...settled down now," Theo said. He couldn't place what he was feeling. He'd moved out of Beacon Hills pretty much as soon as he could, about an hour and a half away, so small talk with an old friend wasn't something he'd ever gotten used to. There was a fleeting moment where he wondered if it was always this weird, or if he felt so conflicted because he and Liam went way further back than anyone else he knew here. It felt right and wrong at the same time to be talking about his sister as something to fill time, not as a real subject like they used to. Before, he would've told Liam about an argument they'd had or they would have planned to prank her some way, y'know, friend stuff. This wasn't friend stuff. "...She's got two daughters. Another one's on the way."

But then again, they weren't friends. He guessed the transition from friends to strangers hadn't ever really resonated with Theo the way it was supposed to.

"I'm sure her husband's thrilled with a bunch of little Taras running around. I should go check up on him soon," Theo snickered, trying to shake off his nerves.

"Do I know her husband?" Liam asked curiously. "Wasn't she dating Sean from the football team when we were freshmen?"

"Michael Greenberg," Theo said, a grin growing on his face as he waited for the reaction. Liam blinked at him, gaping.

"No fuckin' way."

"I'm serious!"

"That guy? Tara? I can't believe she would be able to put up with him as a lab partner, let alone her partner partner!" Liam laughed almost hysterically, covering his mouth. _This_ was more like friend stuff. "Oh my God. Love comes when you least expect it, I guess," Liam said. Before Theo could try and pivot the conversation after there was much too big of a pause, he got the mischievous Liam he knew instead. "So, coming back to that deal we had..."

"Dunbar..."

"Come on, I might not be thirty yet, but _you_ are, and I don't see a ring on that finger!" Liam teased, poking at Theo's hand that was resting on the table. Theo took it off and rubbed his hands up and down his thighs instead. 

"I'm still twenty-nine, that's an important distinction," Theo said firmly with a scowl, "And although my reasoning for why it doesn't make sense has changed apart from the fact that we're two guys, that doesn't mean it _does_ make sense."

"Theo, I'm _kidddiiinnnggg_ ," Liam sighed, throwing his head back. "God, you were always so serious. Glad to see nothing's changed," He joked, sitting back up. "But really, I heard you live in Cloverfield-"

"How did you know that?"

"-My mom's social media stalking. She's retired and bored now. Anyway, I don't live that far from there. I want to get to know you again if you'll let me, T," Liam said, and Theo would be lying if he said he was as enthusiastic about it as Liam right off the bat. 

Theo took a deep breath, rolling his eyes but grinning to himself a bit. How had he forgotten how goofy Liam was? "Yeah, alright," Theo said, taking his phone out of the pocket of his dress pants. "What's your new phone number?"

Liam gave him the number and smiled. God, he really didn't look any different than he had in high school. Maybe just a little older, but time had been good to him. Theo wasn't sure if he could say the same. He could grow a beard now and wore it cut to stubble, but his eyesight was going out more and more and he had to wear glasses when he read. He doubted Liam had any problem with that - from the looks of it, he was as spry and healthy as ever.

"Okay, cool," Liam said, saving Theo's number under simply 'T.' "I'll be around. I'm gonna make you fall in love with me, Raeken," He said cheekily as he stood up. Theo must have looked at him some way, since he sighed again. " _Kidding_ , again! I'm not into guys like that. I'm gonna get more pretzels, you want?"

+++

"Hey," Liam said as soon as Theo opened the door to his apartment. Theo hadn't seen him in a week since the reunion, but he hadn't expected Liam to be over quite so quickly after Theo had given him his apartment address. He looked Theo up and down, noticing that he was still in PJ pants on that Saturday morning. "Sorry, did I wake you up? I can come back later," He said apologetically.

"No, you're fine," Theo said, opening the door wider for him. It still felt unnatural talking to Liam again, but he was slowly getting used to it, easing himself in. They'd been texting almost every day since the reunion, mostly stupid stuff like idiotic memes that they probably should've outgrown already, but he had been able to learn some things about Liam. He studied history at the same college he had, but he'd lived off-campus, so they didn't run into each other, and he was a high school history teacher at Cloverfield High. He told him about what his parents, who Theo had at one point had regarded as being his second family, have been up to, and they exchanged stories about their lives since high school ended and they officially went their separate ways. He was easing himself into talking to Liam. It came in the form of text messages and his first footsteps into Theo's apartment, but Theo felt himself getting used to it. "Did you need something?"

"Uh...no..." Liam said, suddenly self-conscious, which was rare. "I guess I probably should've texted first. Just wanted to see if you wanted to hang out," He said. "Or have a _meeting_ or something if _hanging_ _out_ is too juvenile to say."

"It's fine," Theo said again. "I was just doing the dishes from breakfast, but you can stay awhile if you want." He watched as Liam walked in and looked around at everything before he turned back to his sink full of dishes. "Sorry about the mess, I haven't had much time to clean up."

"You get a lot of late nights in the office?" Liam asked. Once again, weird. 

"With _my_ boss? Of course," Theo scoffed, running a fork under the water. "Never knew a publisher could possibly be that uptight about everything. Have to say, the fuckin' book won't be worth it."

"Just be glad he isn't _your_ publisher," Liam said.

"Maybe not yet, but he's the only choice I've got," Theo sighed, putting the last plate in the dishwasher. 

Liam looked like he was about to say something else, but he was quickly interrupted by _The_ _Menace's_ high-pitched, whiny noise and an aggressive and clumsy headbutt against his ankles. _The Menace_ , also known as Egg, the massive white cat that got spoiled way too much, was winding her way around Liam's legs. "Oh my God!" Liam gasped, reaching down to pet her. "You didn't tell me you had a cat! Can I pick her up?"

"Yeah, but she's like, sixteen pounds worth of cat, so I'd be careful." Liam was already scooping Egg up in his arms anyway, struggling to carry her even with his muscles. She was just so big and wiggly. Theo understood everyone's initial shock when they held her, it was like holding an unruly child. "I haven't fed her yet, so I guess she's decided you're going to do it."

"What a big baby!" Liam breathed, almost awed. Theo leaned against his kitchen table with one hand, watching as Liam cooed at and pet his cat. All jokes aside about Egg being a menace, Theo was focused on one thing. It was another flash of old times, the Liam he had known before.

Egg eventually hopped down when she realized she wasn't getting fed by Liam, going to bother Theo instead. He scooped dry food into her bowl while she yowled as if she was starving the entire time while Liam watched with amusement. "How was your week?" Liam asked from behind him. The small talk still had to continue for a _little_ while longer, Theo reminded himself. It had been years, after all.

That morning, they talked about their weeks with their jobs and people, conversation flowing more freely as it came. On some level, Theo found that talking to Liam was a lot easier than with other people he had gotten back in touch with. For one thing, Liam clearly had no reservations about his swearing habits, colorful language coming from the history teacher the whole way through, and it didn't take long for Liam to start reminding him that he had no idea what some of the big words he used were. "Your writer talk is coming out again," He would say, and Theo would have to explain what he had said in simpler terms, but he didn't mind at all. Liam had never yelled at him about it like some people did, so it was even kind of nice when he got to explain instead of being told to talk normally. 

They talked all into lunch, which was takeaway from the Chinese place nearby, and Theo was surprised to find that he didn't want Liam to leave when it came to be around dinnertime. Normally, he was ready for his guests to leave about an hour in, no matter who it was. Liam, however, filled time perfectly. "I'm sorry, I promised my roommate that I would be there for dinner tonight, I'm meeting his boyfriend," Liam said apologetically, clear that he didn't want to leave either. "Text me, though. I can't hang out tomorrow, I have dinner scheduled again at my Mom's, but I'll be free to talk any other time."

Theo nodded from the couch as he watched Liam put his jacket back on. "It's cute that you still have dinners with your parents every Sunday," He said. Liam paused and looked at him for a minute, a thoughtful look on his face. If he was thinking the same as Theo, he was remembering Theo's parents. 

"Yeah," Liam said quietly. He reached over and patted him on the shoulder before doing the same to Egg's head. "I'll see you later, T."

"Right," Theo said, letting Liam find his way to the door.

Almost as an afterthought, Liam called out before he left his apartment, "Falling in love with me yet?"

Finally playing along, Theo yelled back "Nope!"

Egg was looking at him from her place on the couch. Realistically, knowing her, it meant she was hungry again, but Theo still asked her what she was looking at anyway.

+++

There weren't a lot of perks that Theo got out of his job, working in a publisher's office. His title was "workplace organizer," but he was really just the publisher's assistant, always getting him coffee and whatever weird obscure thing he needed every fifteen minutes, as it felt, but he stuck with him. He'd heard through the grapevine that if you got on Sean's good side, it was a lot easier to get him to publish your book, and though Theo wasn't writing anything big as of late, it was still an opportunity. 

His possible future book deal was one of the only things holding him there. The other was his friends, Josh and Tracy, who were there for similar reasons. They'd known each other since high school when they were in the creative writing program together, and what people didn't know about their group in high school was that it had started off as just bouncing ideas off each other before rumors went around and they were assumed to be the druggie group. They were the group that people in Liam's group didn't touch, making the divide between them even bigger back then.

Josh and Tracy walked up to him when Sean finally told them they could leave as he was gathering his things to go home. "So, old man," Josh said, starting the conversation off strong. "Have you thought about what you want us to do for your birthday party this year?"

"How about not having one?" Theo scoffed, shoving his notebook into his messenger bag. Theo hadn't even liked parties in high school at the peak of all his problems, and the strain of adult life hadn't changed that.

"Come on. You're gonna be _thirty_ ," Josh emphasized.

"Don't remind me," Theo warned, finishing packing up his things. "No parties."

" _Pleeease?_ " Josh whined, and Theo couldn't help but think he sounded exactly like Liam. "Let us do something for you. This is a big milestone and you should have it be celebrated."

"You know he's not going to stop until you let us," Tracy reasoned, putting her hand on Josh's arm, showing off the engagement ring that had been sitting pretty there for the last month and a half. Even if he didn't care about these things before, Theo wasn't going to lie; all this talk about getting older and not being married was starting to wear him down. That was why he gave in, he guessed.

"Fine. A small party. Nobody I don't know, nothing in public, and no surprises," He said firmly, accentuating each point. Josh pumped his fist in the air and Tracy grinned, the gears already turning in her head. He knew he sounded like a killjoy, but they knew him already, so it wouldn't be anything new.

"Alright, awesome!" Josh exclaimed, taking his keys out of his pocket. "Oh, do you need a ride back while your car's in the shop?" He asked.

Theo shook his head. His car had broken down over the weekend for the second time that year, but for once he didn't need to rely on Josh. "Nah, I actually have a ride already," Theo said, starting to walk out. Josh and Tracy followed.

"A ride? That isn't us? Who?" Tracy asked, sounding fake-scandalized. "Is it high school reunion guy?"

"...Yeah," Theo admitted. Since Josh and Tracy had skipped out on the reunion, he hadn't told them who it was. He didn't want to make it into a thing.

"Who is this guy, anyway? We should know him," Josh asked, grabbing Tracy's hand to hold it. 

"Uh...You guys remember Liam Dunbar?"

Tracy and Josh both stopped in their tracks at the same time, turning to Theo with incredulous looks on their faces. "You're kidding," Josh said. "Liam Dunbar? _Lacrosse Captain_ Liam Dunbar? Talking to _you?"_

Theo rolled his eyes and kept walking. "Shut up, you act like I was some delinquent in high school like the two of you. _Yes_. We were friends when we were younger, we just kind of drifted apart."

"How come you never told us that?" Tracy scoffed, now sounding completely genuine with her scandalized tone. "I can't believe you were friends with somebody on the lacrosse team that _wasn't_ a hookup situation. That's the only reason me and Josh ever talked to anyone in that circle."

They had reached the parking lot by then, where Liam's car was pulled into the fire lane waiting. "It wasn't a hookup situation, and it isn't going to be," He hissed under his breath, making sure Liam wouldn't hear it. "I'll tell you more about it later if you promise not to say that in front of him."

Liam rolled down the passenger side window and grinned at Theo. "Hey, ready to go?" He asked, his eyes only barely picking up that Tracy and Josh were there as well. Theo nodded thankfully for the out and opened the door. Before Liam could pull away, Josh put his hand on the open window space and looked at Liam. 

"Damn. Liam Dunbar," He said like he thought Theo had been lying. Theo scowled at him and Liam laughed. "You remember us from high school? Josh and Tracy? You never talked to us or anything, but I'm sure we were on your group's radar for some reason or another."

"Josh-" Theo admonished, but Liam just nodded.

"Yeah, no, I remember. You guys used to sit at a table not too far from ours, you threw carrot sticks at Brett almost every day. I remember noticing because Theo was there," He remembered. Theo turned to him to give him a surprised look, but Liam just shrugged. "What? You didn't think I knew you were there? Anyway-" Behind Josh, Tracy was leveling Theo with an expression he didn't even want to read. "We'll catch up sometime, I live in the area."

"Alright, have a good night!" Tracy said, pulling Josh over to their car and giving Theo her signature wiggly-eyebrows. He knew he was going to get a lot of shit for that one later.

It was silent in the car for a minute for as Liam pulled out of the parking lot, but it couldn't last for long with the two of them. "Falling in love with me yet, Raeken?" Liam asked, a cheeky smile on his face as he looked at the road. Theo just groaned humorously to break the lightheaded feeling he had suddenly gotten and rested his head on the seat.

"Nope. You want to stay over again tonight?"

+++

Liam's favorite ice cream flavor hadn't changed since eighth grade. Theo found this out when Liam kept his word about catching up with Josh and Tracy, and they all went out to get ice cream together. He'd brought along Mason, his roommate, and Mason's boyfriend Corey, and for the first time in awhile, Theo felt like he was really part of something. Theo got vanilla and Liam poked him in the ribs and called him basic just like he used to back when ice cream was a weekly tradition, every Friday after school, and Liam got rocky road. In some ways, they were predictable. In other ways, not at all.

They had all sat down at a picnic table outside the ice cream stand, each of the two couples next to each other and leaving Theo and Liam to stick together. It was clear to see how in love with each other Mason and Corey were, and Theo couldn't help but feel a little jealous that he had never had that before. He had had a few girlfriends in high school, but for some pretty major reasons, there wasn't that type of love there. Seeing two guys be so simply together was something that Theo's heart ached for. 

Liam didn't seem to have the same issue, just eating his ice cream happily like there wasn't any weight on his shoulders. Theo focused on him instead. Liam's happiness, although sometimes overwhelming for how heavy life had been seeming lately, was what he always turned back to. He was able to forget about life a little longer if he focused on Liam's laugh, and he called that a win, ignoring any subtext behind it.

Theo wasn't sure what impression he had made on Liam's friends, since he was always seemingly the quiet guy in any occasion, but _Theo's_ friends certainly liked _Liam_. Even though they had been the "gloomy" group in high school, Josh and Tracy had lightened up quite a bit as they got older, and they loved how goofy Liam was in the same way Theo did. "Okay, yeah, you're coming to the wedding!" Josh choked out through his laughter. Liam's eyes lit up.

"Wedding?" He asked curiously, his eyes shooting over to Theo for the briefest instant. It was enough to make Theo groan, knowing what was coming.

"Yeah, in about a month," Tracy said. "We can definitely get you in there somewhere. You two, too," She said, motioning to Mason and Corey. "You can't get out of it now, though, you're already RSVP'd."

"Is Theo coming to this wedding?" Liam asked with a smirk. Josh nodded.

"Of course, he's my best man!" He exclaimed. "Beat my brother for the position, he was _pissed_. Anyway, I'm sure Trace can send you the details."

Liam turned to Theo. "I guess the first wedding we go to together won't be our own," He said, sounding satisfied at how easily he had managed to work that into the conversation. Theo tapped the bottom of his ice cream cone with his finger and made it hit his nose, but Liam didn't even blink, still smiling smugly. 

He felt Tracy's stare from across the table, but luckily Mason helped out. "Oh, I forgot about that," He laughed. "That's funny, the deal you made."

"What deal?" Tracy asked slyly, raising an eyebrow at Theo. He was about to try and explain when Liam piped up.

"It's funny, when Theo and I were in fifth grade, I think I got rejected or something, so I kind of forced him into a deal that if we're both not married by the time we're thirty, we'd get married."

"Like in _'My Best Friend's Wedding?'"_ Josh asked.

"Something like that," Theo murmured. " _No_ , we're not getting married. Liam just somehow has a scarily good memory and brought it up when we saw each other at the reunion," Theo tried to explain, but although it was never hard to explain things to Josh, it was clear Tracy wasn't buying it. 

"It would be funny if you did, though," Tracy said, stirring the pot and making Theo want to throw his ice cream at her. "That would be the best story to tell to your grandkids."

"Yeah, well, Liam's not into guys, so," Theo said louder than he needed to, shutting her up. "No getting married. Too bad."

Even worse than Tracy's judgmental stare was seeing Liam next to him looking at him with a question that Theo wasn't willing to answer. He took it as a good thing that no one corrected him, either, so he didn't have to think about what they would mean by it if they did. 

Liam's look of confusion eventually faded away, Theo having done a good enough job of pretending nothing was bothering him, and his lips tilted into a smile. "Falling in love with me yet, T?" He asked in front of everybody, and Theo said the same thing he always did, in front of the people he knew could always read him all too well.

"Nope!"

+++

"So, I've been thinking," Liam started as he walked into Theo's apartment, taking his jacket off and throwing it over Theo's kitchen chair without so much as a hello. Weeks of hanging around Liam had made it so it was like no time had passed at all, all of the discomfort gone, and it showed in the way Liam acted. Theo couldn't tell if he liked that or not. 

"Oh, that's never a good sign," Theo snarked, ignoring Liam's rolling eyes. 

"Anyway, I've been thinking that it's been awhile since you've seen my parents."

Theo froze where he was standing. He should have been expecting this, since Liam never came over on Sundays, this day being reserved for dinner at Liam's parents' house. He hadn't even stopped to think when he heard the knock on the door, he just let him in. "...Okay...?" He trailed, waiting for Liam to clarify what he meant. He was pretty sure he already knew, but he didn't know if he wanted to. 

"Well, it's just that my Mom knows that we're back to being friends, and you used to have dinner with us all the time when we were younger. She invited you for dinner tonight, if you still like chicken. I'd really love it if you came," Liam said gently, much quieter than normal. Theo's breath felt stuck in his lungs. After all these years, Liam still knew what a sensitive subject it was, and he was just as careful now. Theo could barely look at him. "You don't have to, of course, they've just missed you a lot and would love to catch up."

"A-are you sure?" Theo asked uncertainly, hating the way his voice stuttered. Unlike Liam's stepfather, Theo's dad would have reprimanded him for how weak he sounded. Theo knew his dad would hate the person his son became if he could see him now. 

"Of course," Liam said. "I usually try to get there around five, so we have a little bit of time. You want to start a movie or something?" He asked, still sounding quiet. Theo wondered how much of his shock he still had and couldn't keep off his face to make him talk like that.

"...Yeah," Theo said sort of distantly, realizing with a start that he was a lot more nervous than he thought he ought to be. "You can pick something, I'm gonna get change," He said, motioning to his sleep shirt that he had planned to stay in all day.

By five o'clock, Theo found himself in the passenger seat of Liam's car, rolling down the streets of Beacon Hills that felt all too foreign now. The last time he had been down Liam's street had to have been fifteen or so years ago, but he could vaguely remember the memories on it. They used to race each other to the end of the corner and go back to Liam's house for popsicles when the heat got to be too much. As they neared Liam's house, it reminded him of when Jenna used to come get him from the other side of town and bring him there for the weekend or after school, and even now, although it was weak, he got that little buzz of excitement when he saw the Geyers' house as if he was going over for a playdate.

Liam looked to him with a soft smile when he stopped the car in the driveway, watching Theo look around at the familiar front porch and the trees on the side. Theo had always considered this place like a second home when he needed one, and it felt like coming back to it in a bittersweet way. "You ready to come in?" Liam asked after a minute, and Theo nodded before they both got out of the car.

They took their time coming up the stairs of the big wood porch, but Jenna was there with her oven mitts on to open it for them already. "Theo!" She exclaimed, immediately extending her arms from the doorway for a hug. Liam laughed softly as Theo let her. "Oh, God, you've gotten tall since eighth grade! Really sprouted up!" 

"He's, like, five-nine," Liam said, and Theo nodded.

"And you're just mad because you're five-eight, sweetpea. Come on in!" Jenna said, waving them inside with one of her signature red oven mitts. 

Jenna looked so much older than how Theo remembered her, still holding onto her kind eyes and welcoming smile, but he couldn't imagine how much different he was to her. She hadn't seen him since he was a kid, not in person, at least.

David looked different and the same in the same ways as Jenna. David and Jenna had gotten married the same year that Theo and Liam met, so they were both new to the family in a way. That was how they had formed such a bond with each other, David being the person that Theo considered being a father figure more than his own at times, and he suddenly felt an almost overwhelming sense of guilt for severing that tie so abruptly. Luckily, David didn't seem to hold any grudge, since he greeted him the same way Jenna did, with a hug. "Welcome back," He said like this Sunday was no different than any other, as if no more than a few days had passed since he saw him last. Theo's nerves melted away.

"Dinner's almost done, if you want to sit down!" Jenna called from the kitchen. "Theo, I made that chicken, I hope you still like it."

"If you made it? How could I not?" Theo said, looking around the dining room table. Liam pulled out a chair for him and sat in the one next to it. 

"Still able to lay on the flattery, I see," Liam joked as he scooted his chair in. Theo laughed and Jenna brought the food out to the table.

Theo's own mother had never been nearly as good of a cook as Jenna was, so Theo had learned to cook for himself after he moved out after high school, but anything he could have made paled in comparison to Jenna's cooking. He knew for a fact she made all her recipes herself expertly. He might be a little biased, but he liked to think that if Jenna hadn't been a social worker, she should've been a chef professionally. "This is great, Jenna. Thank you," Theo said after his first bite, having almost forgotten how good she was. "And thank you for the invitation. It means a lot, really."

"It's no problem," Jenna waved him off with a smile, always strikingly similar to Liam's. "What have you been up to lately, Theo? It's been awhile!"

"Oh, not anything too exciting. I work at a publishing firm," Theo said with a shrug. "Nothing published yet, though."

"Well, save us a few copies of your first book. I always remembered seeing you writing in that notebook of yours," Jenna said. "I'm expecting autographed copies, young man."

Theo grinned. "Done," He said. "You want the dedication page, too?"

"Well, if the shoe fits..." David said, and all four of them chuckled.

"I went by Theo's office once to pick him up for work. You know he works for Sean Walcott?" Liam asked.

"Why do I know that name?" David wondered.

"Probably because of his near-arrest for tipping a hot coffee back onto a barista a few years back," Theo snorted. Jenna gasped. "Guess who had to bail him out of jail for that one?"

"Oh no, he's not throwing hot coffee at you, is he?" She asked with genuine concern.

"Not yet, at least," Theo sighed. "But I'm sure if I mess up on the employee reports a few more times I'll get there."

Throughout dinner, Theo felt more and more like he really belonged there. It was easy to have conversation with Jenna and David, as it had been before. They had always been trustworthy and kind, clearly being their only goal when someone entered their home. Theo couldn't help but think that he would love to be there every Sunday with them, no matter how outlandish that seemed. It sure beat spending the nights with Egg in the apartment with some takeout Chinese.

They were into dessert, pieces of cherry pie and vanilla ice cream, loose laughter laced through the air at something Theo had said, when Theo felt something drop in his stomach. It came from Jenna, who had no idea what she was saying while she said it. "We really did miss having you around, Theo," She said, not meaning it as anything big. "You were always one of our favorite people to have around. I'm glad you're back."

At that, Theo couldn't find it in him to come up with something that even began to explain how much that meant to him. With mounting horror, he felt the lump in his throat build and it became hard to speak through being suddenly overwhelmed. Instead, he smiled tightly and nodded before saying, "Could you excuse me for a minute?" and pushing away from the table.

Theo bit his tongue as he made his way down the hallway to the bathroom, opening the door quietly and stepping inside. Somehow hearing that he'd been missed from Jenna was so much more intense than Liam telling him she said it, and it showed. He leaned on the sink with one hand and ran his fingers through his hair through the other, examining himself in the mirror and telling himself to get it together.

Then came a quiet knock on the door that came before it being pushed open gently. "Hey," Liam said, looking at Theo through the mirror. "You left really fast, are you okay?"

"Yeah, no, sorry," Theo covered, turning to Liam and giving him a weak smile. "I'm fine."

"You say you're fine..." Liam said, for once being observant. "But you look like you want to cry."

Theo let out a wet laugh, shaking his head with a self-deprecating smile. "Sorry, I just...I don't think I realized how much I missed this," He tried to explain, fighting against the prickly feeling behind his eyes. "Being here with your family, I mean."

He wasn't expecting Liam to wrap him up in a hug like he did, but he guessed that good things did come in threes, after all. He felt Liam take a deep breath where their chests were pressed together. Liam's arms squeezing tight around his middle. That time, Theo almost did want to let his tears fall, but he knew better. 

"It's true," Liam whispered. "We did miss you too. So much. I...I never really _stopped_ thinking about you, y'know?" Theo swore his heart almost stopped. "It felt weird not having you around, for _years_. If you want us back you can," Liam said, and he let Theo breathe shakily before he came back with more humor in his tone. "You can come every week, if you want to. You _are_ my future husband, after all."

In all of Liam's haste, they'd forgotten the door was open, so when David came to check on the two of them, they were met with a surprised gasp. "Future _what?"_ He gasped, eyes widening almost comically. Theo wanted to jump right out of his skin, but Liam laughed and pulled away only slightly, further apart but still with his arms around Theo's waist.

"Oh, no, not really," Liam explained, for once the one to correct him. "It's an inside thing."

David put a hand over his heart. "Oh. _Jesus_. You had me scared," He sighed. "That would be _amazing_ and all, but imagine if you hadn't told your _mother_ yet! She would go insane!" Theo and Liam, both having known the way Jenna operates, laughed at that, Liam leaning his head on Theo's shoulder again. "Alright, alright, I'll leave you alone now. I'd get back to the table soon, or Jenna'll find you herself," He warned before stepping out. "Oh, and Theo? Liam's right. Your invitation never wears out in this house." This time, the door closed.

As soon as they were obscured from view, Liam went right back to his tight hold on Theo. "Liam," Theo chuckled lightly, feeling a little dizzy. "What is _this_ one for?"

"I'm gonna hold on until you're happy again," Liam said matter-of-factly, even tightening his hold. "And you're gonna like it."

Liam was right. He _was_ going to like it, like it a lot more than he should for just being friends. Liking it too much was what made him pull back. "We should go back to the table," Theo whispered, trying to ignore how this looked in the mirror to their left. They looked like a couple who had sneaked away from family dinner, who were close enough to lean in and kiss. They didn't look like childhood best friends who had only started talking again two months ago. His whisper of _"We don't want your mother to come find us,"_ only solidified the illusion.

For a fleeting second, Theo really did think that Liam was going to kiss him, but he didn't. He buried his forehead in Theo's shoulder and nodded. "Are you in love with me yet, Theo?" He murmured. It scared him how his brain made that sound so much more different, _tender_ , than it probably was, like Liam was _hopeful_.

"Nope."

_Weaker each time._

+++

It hurt more than anything else, but Theo knew, deep down, that he shouldn't be hanging around Liam. It had felt nice at first to get to know him again after so many years of being apart, but he was falling back into old habits, getting comfortable. He was used to Liam being somewhat of a permanent fixture when he came back to his apartment, always following him inside or already being there. He had a drawer in Theo's bedroom with a few shirts in case their hangouts turned into sleepovers. He basically lived there.

It was harder and harder to remind himself every day that there had been a reason that the two of them stopped talking. After all, it was easy to forget the past when the present looked so clear and beautiful at times, but it was a necessary evil. Ever since the night at Jenna's house, his heart had been in his throat, and he needed it to stop. 

There had never been a time where things with Liam weren't complicated in some way, not since they were kids, at least. The first time Theo remembered feeling something different for Liam was that fated day in fifth grade, the day they made the wedding pact. It may have been a joke then, but for Theo, who had only ever heard of what it meant to be "gay" from his parents who preached that it was wrong, it stuck with him for far too long to be normal. After Liam had forgotten it, Theo carried it around all throughout the rest of elementary school and into middle school.

Theo had struggled before, always wondering why he never got little school crushes on pretty girls in their classes like Liam did. At first he'd figured that no one had really caught his eye yet, then he wondered later on when his friends were starting to get girlfriends if he was just broken in some way. He saw an article in the paper about gay marriage being legalized in California, the headline paired with a picture of two men at the altar together, and Theo started to realize that he wasn't as "normal," as he would have called it, after all.

He didn't have the luxury of forgetting things that happened to him in school like other people did, because from then on, it wasn't nearly as simple as it had been for people like Liam. He had learned that having feelings for a boy was gross and bad, never anyone around to give him positive reinforcement, so when he realized what he felt for Liam, he started pushing him away. They were strangers by the end of freshman year, the most meaningful part of his life taken away by something he couldn't control. He stayed mad at himself for being gay, a word he never dared to speak about in fear of someone finding out, so he'd try to hide it with girls that meant barely anything to him. He remembered one of his last high school memories, his prom night, watching Liam dance with Hayden, the girl everyone thought he would marry one day. The couple had just been elected prom king and queen, but Theo was miserable while Liam would regard that day as an epic memory. Theo went to prom with Laura, a perfectly nice girl who didn't deserve to be lied to, who he lost his virginity to that night. All of it felt fake, wrong. His life from middle school had been a dragging, awful weight on him that he could only describe as depression. He didn't know how to get out of it then.

Things changed when he moved out of his parents' house right after graduation. He was dirt-poor, but Josh and Tracy had been excitedly willing to take him in as their roommate for awhile, no questions asked. It took a long, long time for Theo to even consider coming out even to himself, but he knew soon enough that he was going to end up alone if he didn't try. Theo came out to them a while later, once he had worked up the courage. He knew that he hadn't really been ready, but he made himself as the first step to accepting himself. Life was easier the more he managed to accept who he was, and not seeing his parents anymore was a burden that was no longer his responsibility to take care of. Tara had distanced herself long ago, and Theo was just following in her footsteps.

So things had been better, and then Liam walked back into his life again. Liam, with his perfect blue eyes and the smile that never ceased to light up a room, Liam, who Theo should have known he was going to fall for all over again as soon as he walked up to his table at the reunion. Liam had made him feel things he didn't want to feel then, so it was all too easy for him to do the same now. This time, Theo's hesitance was for a different reason. 

He didn't want to mess up what he had with Liam now by making a move on him, which hadn't been a concern before, but after the night he had just had, it was a bigger one than ever.

Liam, the driving force in his life lately, had gotten him to go out clubbing as part of Josh's bachelor party for the first time in years. It wasn't really Theo's scene, for obvious reasons, but Liam hadn't taken no for an answer, not that Theo had fought much. They'd gone to one downtown with the rest of Josh's groomsmen plus Liam, Mason, and Corey, just planning to have some fun.

"Fun" had turned into Theo accidentally finding out that Liam wasn't straight. If the way he had been pretty enthusiastically making out with a guy on the dance floor had anything to say about it, at least. He had no idea why nobody corrected him all the times he said that Liam was straight, since Mason didn't have any problem with saying that Liam was "definitely a lot more into men than he advertises sometimes." 

It wasn't even Liam kissing a man that wasn't him, or a man in the first place, that got Theo thinking. Now, there was no reason not to pursue Liam. There was nothing holding him back from finally telling Liam how he felt honestly for once if Liam liked guys too, and that scared the living Hell out of him. He didn't want to ruin this friendship, for one thing, and he had never actually been with a guy before. Even if he'd come out, he never had the courage to try and hookup with anyone, and he'd never been interested in a real relationship with any of the men he knew. Liam was a different story, and it was scary. If there was any chance that Liam was into him that way, he would let it come to light on Liam's terms.

_Tracy (11:57 PM) - he got you to go clubbing?? what I've been trying to get you to do for the past ten years??  
Theo (11:57 PM) - This isn't the point. He's on my couch, what am I supposed to do now?  
Tracy (11:57 PM) - kiss him goodnight  
Theo (11:58 PM) - No.  
Tracy (11:58 PM) - but wouldn't it be so great if you could come to my wedding as a couple?  
Theo (11:59 PM) - Goodnight._

Theo sighed and put his phone into the pocket of his pajama pants that he'd changed into while Liam was half-knocked out on the couch. He slipped his glasses after taking his contacts out and headed towards the living room.

Liam blinked his eyes open and smiled sleepily when he heard him come in. "You wear glasses?" He asked, tired but still adorable. "You look so cute." 

"Shut up," Theo said, nudging Liam over a bit so he could sit too. 

"So, _so_ cute, T..."

Theo rolled his eyes and fought against the heavy feeling in his chest. "What movie do you want, sleepy?"

Liam squeezed his eyes shut and stretched his arms out, smacking his mouth. "Mmm..." He hummed. "Can we just go to sleep?" He asked instead, closing his eyes again.

"Yeah, sure," Theo sighed. "You want to take my bed this time, I'll stay on the couch?"

"Mm, no..." Liam mumbled, moving up to Theo's chest. Before Theo could do anything about it, Liam was curled up almost on top of him. "You stay here."

With a deep, weighted breath out, Theo gave in. "Okay, fine," He said, trying not to seem like he liked it as much as he did. Liam shuffled around, and Theo was warm with his body on top of his. He could feel Liam's head resting right where his heart was, his arms wrapped around his middle as he liked to, and their legs tangling together.

He thought Liam was asleep, his breaths even enough, when he suddenly spoke up. "Love you," Liam mumbled into his shirt, and Theo froze.

"You're drunk," He reminded gently, rubbing Liam's back.

"Not that much..." Liam trailed. " _Love_ you, T."

Quiet.

"Love you."

+++

"Hey, I'm sorry about what I said last night," Liam said sheepishly before he left Theo's apartment the next morning. "I don't know what I was thinking. I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable."

"It's fine." It was all that Theo could say, and he knew it was probably for the best. "I'll see you tomorrow at Trace and Josh's," He said.

Their wedding was tomorrow, where he'd go with Liam as his friend-date, which he wasn't ready for in the slightest. Still, Liam smiled, and it was enough to keep Theo holding onto some semblance of happiness. 

He didn't ask the question this time, which Theo took as good. He wasn't sure he could answer a lie anymore.

+++

Come to think of it, Theo wasn't sure he had ever seen Tracy wear white for as long as he knew her, but it suited her. She and Josh looked nothing but happy when they were both at the altar together, Theo standing by Josh's side and watching him give his vows. Theo didn't think he knew anyone who deserved to get married to each other more than Josh and Tracy.

The ceremony itself was beautiful, and it went off without a hitch. Tracy's bridesmaids stood on her side and Theo stood as Josh's best man with some of Josh's other friends and family. 

Theo had really tried his hardest through the ceremony not to think about his own issues for the time being and enjoy the wedding, but it was difficult with Liam sitting and watching. He felt his eyes on him while he was standing and wondered if Liam had been thinking about the night before as much as Theo had, or if he had forgotten about it. Knowing himself, Theo assumed it was the latter. He tended to hold onto things longer than Liam did.

Despite his anxieties, Theo couldn't wait to see Liam. As soon as celebration broke out when Josh and Tracy were officially pronounced husband and wife, Liam's eyes caught his in the crowd and smiled at him. His smiles had been softer, smaller recently, but all the more breathtaking to Theo. Once again, it came with both the swooping of his heart and the numbing drop of his stomach to see it.

As people started to walk around the grounds and into the reception hall, Liam and Theo met in the middle. Liam nudged him with his elbow and they both set off together to find Josh and Tracy, who were getting done talking to Tracy's grandparents. "Beautiful wedding, guys," Liam praised. "Congratulations."

"Thanks, man," Josh said, looking starry-eyed like he couldn't believe that he and Tracy were actually married. "Tracy really put the whole thing together, though, so..."

"Oh, just admit that you designed the color scheme and go," Tracy groaned endearingly, rolling her eyes lightheartedly as Josh sputtered and tried to deny it. Her eyes lingered on Theo for a second and he was suddenly self conscious of every movement. It was the same expression that she had used whenever Liam or Theo said something about each other, analyzing and intimidating. "We're heading into the party for food, I'm starving. You guys coming?"

"Yeah, we'll be there in a second," Liam said before Theo could answer and waited for Josh and Tracy to start walking up towards the building. 

Theo looked at him, for once the one confused at the other, while Liam looked like he wanted to say something. He even opened his mouth once to speak and changed his mind all of the sudden with a furrow of his brow. "You want to head in?" He asked instead, and Theo was helpless to comply.

+++

The night progressed inside the reception hall. Liam and Theo sat next to each other at their table, watching Josh and Tracy share their first dance as a couple, a drink and a half in, but Theo couldn't feel any buzz other than the anxiety that came off both of them. Liam was way too quiet, and it was making him uneasy. He'd never been this quiet before. Theo didn't get why Liam would seek him out just to push him away.

Liam's knee bounced up and down nervously, his face paler than it should be. Theo wondered for a minute if Liam was sick and he needed to go home, but he didn't look tired - in fact, he looked wide awake. His eyes flitted around the place and back to Theo too often to be a coincidence, and Theo was about to ask what his deal was when he started talking. 

"I'm really sorry," Liam burst out, and Theo was barely able to get through his alarm quick enough to remember what he was talking about. "About what I said. You've been really quiet after I said it and I shouldn't have, so I'm sorry."

"It's really fine, I told you," Theo insisted, but Liam shook his head. His knee was still bouncing up and down, and Theo wanted to put his hand there to settle him. He didn't. 

"I feel guilty about it, though," Liam said worriedly, nipping at his bottom lip. "I know you saw me last night at the club, and that changes the way that sounded. I'm sorry I didn't tell you before. It's just that I always kind of knew that I liked guys too and it's all kind of been a new experience for me, recent, I mean. Brought on by someone."

"The guy at the club?" Theo asked, feeling sick.

"What? No," Liam declined, shaking his head. "I'm just...I'm really, really sorry that I made things weird. I want to get past it."

"Who said it made things weird? We all say stupid things when we're drunk, Liam."

Liam looked at Theo with shiny eyes, eyebrows turned up in nervousness. "It's just that...because I'm bi and you're gay-"

"Maybe we shouldn't talk about this," Theo interrupted, getting up out of his chair. He couldn't be there anymore. 

"No, wait, that's not what I meant!" Liam exclaimed. "I didn't mean that being gay meant it _meant_ something to you, I meant-"

"I know. I know, just...can we just leave it alone?" Theo pleaded, turning away to walk towards the bathrooms. 

"Theo..." Liam called after him, sounding defeated, but he didn't turn back around. All he could do was hope he didn't follow him.

Maybe Liam didn't follow him, but someone else did. She was hard to miss, being the only one in a long white dress, after all, but Theo still didn't notice her following until it was too late to rush away. "Theo," She called, going as fast as she could in such a long dress. He sighed and stopped outside the men's room, knowing it would be a cheap shot to try and escape. She would be waiting outside the whole time, anyway. 

In typical Tracy fashion, she asked what had happened instead of what was wrong. "And don't say nothing," She scolded as soon as Theo opened his mouth. "You've both been weird and fidgety all night, and I'm not going to let anybody have a bad time at my wedding."

Theo looked around, making sure nobody he knew was around, but Tracy was grabbing him by the wrist and guiding him towards the room she had used to get ready in a few hours back. She shoved him back so he was sitting on an ottoman, and she pulled up a stool to sit in front of him. "You look sad."

"I'm not," Theo said. Tracy raised an eyebrow. "Well, not really. Just...frustrated, I guess."

"Maybe you should start with what happened last night," Tracy suggested, and Theo was surprised until he remembered that something other than Liam's drunken words had happened. Theo rubbed his hands up and down his thighs, his tie suddenly feeling too tight. "You said he kissed a guy at the bachelor party last night?"

"Yeah," Theo started, swallowing tightly. "It was just some random guy, nobody we knew, and I would understand a little bit of experimenting if he were drunk, but he wasn't. He started getting trashed _after_ he kissed him. And it wasn't even experimenting, he was full on going for it, like, level ten type of making out there. He had been thinking about doing that, I could tell."

"And you're jealous about that?" Tracy asked, but Theo shook his head. If it were a calmer time, he would have found it funny that he never had to tell Tracy about this thing he had for Liam, she had figured it out on her own. He wondered if Josh knew.

"No, that's not the worst part. We...we got back to my apartment after he had sobered up, a lot, and we were going to put on a movie and he got all close to me and started falling asleep. He...he kind of...he said he loved me. Three times before he fell asleep like it was nothing," Theo explained. "And whatever, because he was still out of it, but God! I didn't need to hear that and he doesn't need to keep fucking bringing it up! He thinks that just because I'm gay and he's bi that it automatically meant something to me, and it _does_ , but he won't let it go!" 

"Theo," Tracy said gently, trying to calm him down. He hadn't realized how mad he sounded. "I think you should tell him."

Theo shook his head. "No," he declined right away. "Not an option."

"Why not?"

"Because, he-" Theo tensed. "He's one of the only people in my life that aren't you, Josh, and Tara who I can really rely on. I don't want to lose him because of something like this."

Tracy looked at him for a second, hard and thoughtful, before she came to a decision. "No," She said. 

"No?"

"No, Theo," She said, standing up. "No, you're not going to just not tell him. You give some good reasons, sure, but why would you put yourself through the pain of never knowing when you could finally be happy with someone?" She asked. She grew quiet, kneeling back down in front of him so they were at eye level. "You, me, and Josh may have started hanging out together because we were all kind of gloomy, but it doesn't have to be like that all the time. Happy's a good look on you, Theo. You're my best friend. I just want you to be happy, and you have that with him," She whispered. "So you have to tell him. You don't have to marry him or anything, but you have to promise me. Consider it a wedding gift to me, a blessing, or whatever."

Theo smiled weakly as Tracy stuck out a manicured pinky finger, but he wasn't stupid enough to refuse. He took it with his own and twisted it like they used to do in simpler times, sealing his fate. "I promise," He managed. "Not tonight. But...I'll try."

Tracy looked at him for a minute before nodding, satisfied, then left Theo alone in the room with his thoughts and a few new texts from Liam begging for forgiveness that he didn't need to beg for.

He turns thirty in fifteen days.

+++

When Sean had told him that he needed to come in for a few hours on Saturday, Theo jumped at the opportunity. He needed to be out of the apartment while the newlyweds and Liam set up his birthday party, not that he _had_ to leave, he just didn't want to be around for the preamble. He was okay with going to the party and waiting for it to be over, but he didn't need to be around longer than he needed to. Liam was helping Josh and Tracy decorate and get things ready, and it had been awhile since he had seen Liam in such a big dose.

Theo and Liam had both said that they were fine after the incident at the bachelor party and the wedding, and Theo believed they were, but Liam was keeping his distance. He was as grateful for that as he was entirely broken up about it; he missed Liam like Hell. Liam had been around a lot more than he realized, and the apartment felt pretty empty without him in it all the time. Still, as more days passed without seeing him in person, the harder it felt. He figured that if anything, his birthday party could be the most comfortable place to talk to him, surrounded by other people and at least a little buzzed from the alcohol.

"You can go now, Theo," Sean said as he walked past his desk. "Make sure you're ready for Monday morning. Don't party too hard tonight."

Theo paused. "You knew it was my birthday?" He asked, surprised.

"Please. Joshua never learned what an inside voice is."

"Yeah, that sounds better," Theo said under his breath as he walked out to his car. Pushing past Sean's assumption that he couldn't handle his alcohol, Theo was starting to get ready for a night full of talking to people.

He assured himself that it wouldn't be that bad, going over the guest list that had been carefully curated in his head to try and get a grasp on what he would be stuck talking about that night. There were some people from Theo's college and the office, plus his sister and Liam, so he tried to reassure himself that he would do okay there. There wasn't any pressure, he reminded himself. No pressure at your own birthday party. 

The sun was going down and he took a quick glance at his dashboard clock: 7:43 PM. The party was set to start at eight, late enough that it wouldn't feel like an "old person party" as Josh put it and early enough that people wouldn't feel the need to stay until the early hours of the morning. He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel as he rolled down the street, one of the towns he passed through every day on his commute.

He was still thinking about the guest list, trying not to let his mind wander to one specific guest in particular, when his car began to stall. "No," He scolded out loud, and it seemed to stop for a second. Theo would have been happy to ignore it after that and assume that it had listened, but a minute later, the loud noise came back. "No, no, no." This time, it didn't stop.

He could hear his engine starting to fuck up as he pulled over to the side of the road, towards the grass of the woodland area. "You're fucking kidding me," He laughed incredulously, slamming his hand down on the dashboard. He turned his key in the ignition and groaned as he heard the struggle for it to start. Trying again and again didn't help either, and Theo felt his soul leave his body in frustration when he turned it once more and nothing happened at all. Dead, the entire thing. 

Fuck.

He stepped out of the car, looking at the single bar of reception he had so far away from a cell tower, and called a tow truck. "Yeah, I'm stuck over at Austen Point, about halfway down the long stretch. Engine died on me." The man on the other end of the line told him they'd send a tow truck down to get the car and drive him back to his place, and told him an amount. Theo tried not to let his frustration seep through into his voice, but his jaw dropped. "I - Jesus, okay," he breathed, rubbing his hand over his face. "Okay. Thank you."

+++

In his haste to get someone out there for him, Theo hadn't asked when the tow truck was supposed to get there to pick him up, and he could get ahold of the same person that he'd spoken to on the phone that dispatched the truck. It had been thirty minutes and Theo was stranded, sitting in his broken car and watching the clock on his phone change.

8:01. He was officially late to his own birthday party.

Theo let out a heavy sigh and rested his head against the steering wheel. His thoughts, which he had fought to push back all day, were starting to take over the silence. He couldn't distract himself from them, either. He couldn't listen to music because his phone battery died so fast and there wasn't anything in the car to entertain himself with, so he had to shut his eyes and think. Think, think, think, as if overthinking wasn't already the cause of so many of his problems right now.

 _I could write about this,_ Theo thought humorlessly. _About what a fucking wreck my life has become. I bet Sean would love to publish my suffering. Big money grab, lots of marketing._

 _"He probably doesn't hate you_ that _much,"_ Liam would have said. _Great_ , now he was back to Liam, as always. Thinking of Liam always got him to spiral in the worst way. It always came back to the fantasies before reality set back in.

Fantasies like going to Sunday dinner with him and his parents and holding his hand under the table, cuddling on the couch all the time, without any reservations about it. Kissing him, finally, something so well overdue that Theo regretted each day he had gone without it. And God, the sex...Theo may not be a virgin, but Liam is the only person he thinks he's ever actually wanted to have sex with. Even more than the sex, he thought about laying in bed with Liam after it every time, just taking care of each other as they put themselves back together after being put to pieces. In his fantasies, the difficulties they faced were together, things that could be resolved with each other's help. 

But there was always the fall back. Hours passed as Theo waited for the tow truck, wondering if it was even coming at all, as the reality set in. The reality was that he was in love with Liam in a way he'd never been with anyone before, so badly that it made his entire body ache when he thought of what was happening back where things weren't only figments of his imagination. The facts were cold, hard, but never simple. 

Liam didn't know the extent of what Theo had gone through with his parents and the people around him, and he wondered if it would be too late to tell him. He wasn't sure how he would take it either if Liam came to him with all these worries now, wanting to tell him everything all at once. He was afraid he would scare him away, just like he had been worried about when he told Josh and Tracy. Liam would think that he had done something wrong and flee. Theo had so much to say and not enough time, never enough time to say it, not the way they were now. He wanted to say he missed when he could tell Liam everything, but that hadn't been the case since they were only kids.

He had several "missed" texts from Liam sitting in his notifications, but when Tracy texted, he answered.

_Tracy (10:27 PM) - any luck?_

Theo stared at his screen for a second, feeling tears prick the back of his eyes. He hadn't even wanted the party in the first place, but it hurt deep, like cold icepicks in his chest.

_Theo (10:29 PM) - Nothing. i think you should tell everyone to go home. it's going to be awhile. tell them I'm sorry._

Theo didn't do a lot for his birthday as a kid. His parents weren't that into celebrating his or Tara's birthdays, so they didn't have parties like other kids did. They got the cake and a couple of gifts, the basic stuff, but there was one thing that the Raekens did every year. 

10:38 PM was the exact time that Theo was born, and they would always wait to sing to him until then. It was a tradition and one of the only good memories Theo had of his childhood with his mom and dad, and even if they didn't see each other anymore, he would have done it tonight. Tara would have still been there, Tracy and Josh would have been there, Liam would be there. 

10:37 switched to 10:38 at the same time Tracy texted.

_Tracy (10:38 PM) - Everyone's cleared out. call me in the morning, ok? happy birthday._

Theo put his head in his hands.

"Happy thirtieth, Theo," He whispered to himself, his eyes welling up as he remembered what was supposed to happen. Now, he was wondering if he would ever be able to see Liam again.

+++

He was exhausted down to his bones by the time he stumbled into his apartment building, nearing his door with a sigh. His eyelids were heavy and all he wanted to do was fall into bed and sleep off the day he had had for at least a good twelve hours. As he turned his key in the lock, he longed for his bed, all nice and full of pillows...

He opened the door, and the first thing he noticed was the decorations were still up in Theo's favorite colors, blue and grey. A few chip bowls sat on his kitchen counters and people had left their gifts under the kitchen table, making Theo give a short, self-deprecating laugh at how the night was supposed to go. His apartment looked like there had been a party, and by the looks of it, one he would have wanted to go to.

But the surroundings started to grey out, tunnel vision, as one might refer to it, when he saw Liam. He got up from where he was sitting on Theo's couch and walked up to him slowly. "Hey," He said in that soft voice of his, eyes full of question. He was wearing the sweater Theo had loaned him awhile back and he looked up at Theo's tired face with nothing but pure, unfiltered kindness and concern.

And something broke in Theo, or maybe something mended.

Because all he wanted to do then was exactly what he did, drop his messenger bag off his shoulder to the floor and cup Liam's face in his hands before he could even register the pounding of his heartbeat.

Their lips met and Theo felt fireworks explode behind his eyelids, bombs go off in his chest and doves soar from his shoulders, weight lifted. He tilted Liam's head upwards so their mouths could press just right, not even noticing at first that Liam had frozen up in surprise, because he needed him right there, always right there, right now and forever.

 _He had waited for him._ Liam took a quick, sudden deep breath through his nose and his arms rose to wrap around Theo's waist, and before then, Theo didn't think that kissing Liam could get any better. _He wouldn't keep him waiting anymore._ Liam's lips moved against his own passionately like he had been waiting forever to be seen by him and Theo felt all the same; _he would never keep Liam waiting again._

They stumbled back, knees going weak, until Theo, perfectly natural for the first time in his life, turned them so they fell back against a wall instead, Liam's back hitting it and his arms around Theo pulling him ever so much closer. Liam moaned into his mouth as soon as Theo's lips parted for him, and Theo was in ecstasy, never having felt anything like this before. He wanted everything now one hundred times worse than he had ever before, Liam's hands traveling up his back and gripping his shirt, his lips on his for eternity to never stop, his soft noises in his ear all the time, a date tomorrow and the rest of their lives. He never once stopped to think that he was dreaming. Nothing had ever felt more real while also being transcendent. 

The need to breathe became too much and they both broke off with a gasp, Liam's arms tightening around him in exchange for taking his lips away. Theo's head fell to Liam's shoulder and his arms wrapped around Liam's neck, just then feeling how both of them were shaking. "Theo..." Liam whispered shakily, a hint of question in his broken voice.

"Maybe we should put that deal we made back into consideration." Theo could hardly believe what he was saying, but it had never sounded more right. Liam gasped quietly and Theo picked his head back up off him to look at his face. His lips were parted, eyes were wide, blinking at him once, twice, before he kissed him again. Thank God. 

When he pulled back again, he was tearful. Theo hadn't even noticed the tears coming down from himself until Liam reached up with his thumbs to brush them away, cupping his face softly. "Are you kidding?" He asked shakily. The edges of Theo's lips tilted up in a smile as he shook his head, giving Liam no other choice but to kiss it in thanks. Theo had no objections. "Come with me, then," Liam whispered.

He held Theo's hand as he lead him over to the kitchen table and kept holding it as he took a small box off the stack of gifts under it. They sat down on the couch, and Theo almost didn't want to open it and let go of Liam's hand. He had been longing for so long to touch him like this, and he didn't want to give it up for a second. Luckily, Liam slid his arm between Theo's back and the back of the couch, still keeping him close.

The box was shaped to look like a gift box, so all he had to do was take the top off to see the velvet case inside. "Liam-?" He gasped, opening it to see a diamond ring.

"I bought that after you came to dinner with me and my parents," Liam said, kissing behind his ear. "I was going to give it to you today, and, well, after what happened recently, I would just hope you didn't punch me in the face." He took the case from Theo with trembling fingers and took the ring out of it, slipping it onto Theo's left ring finger. "It's not a real diamond. Think of it as a promise ring," Liam said. "I'm getting you a new one by tomorrow. Just let this one be for show."

"That whole time?" Theo asked uncertainly, wiping his eyes. "You wanted to marry me this whole time?" Liam nodded and smiled, kissing at his face. "B-but you said that you liked someone else-?"

"That was _you_ , T," Liam said. "I might have danced with a guy, but I knew I liked guys. I lied when I said I was experimenting. I just wanted you to know," He admitted quietly and hesitantly as if Theo even possessed the ability to be mad at him. "I didn't mean to tell you I loved you that same night, but...I do, Theo," He said, and Theo felt his heart both shatter and grow. "I love you."

Theo threw himself at Liam, his strong arms catching him just like he needed them to. "I love you so much, so _bad_ ," Theo confessed, muffled in Liam's shirt. "Oh God, we're gonna get _married_ ," He said.

"We're gonna get married," Liam confirmed, rubbing his back. "Should I text Josh and Tracy or should you?"

"Call them together," Theo settled for, tightening his hold on Liam as they settled to lay on the couch. "I don't think I could bring myself to get up now."

+++

Tracy jokingly said that they were stealing her thunder by getting married a month after she and Josh did, but anyone could tell that she was more than anything else ecstatic. The same went for everyone who came to the wedding. Liam's parents found it a little sudden, but they were no less enthusiastic about it, and Tara questioned it for about thirty seconds before she got on board, but other than that, everyone had taken the news great and were just as excited when they got to the wedding.

It was time for vows, and Theo was trying not to shake as much as his body wanted him to, buzzing with nervous energy as Liam began. It felt like he had been waiting for this his entire life, and it was finally here. His wedding.

Liam took a deep breath and looked at the card in his hand. Theo had no idea what Liam had written, but he had spent so much time agonizing over it that Theo was glad he wouldn't have to wait any longer. 

"I had a crush on you in the fifth grade," He lead with, and Theo bit his lip. 

"Oh my God..." Theo said under his breath, his smile feeling like it was splitting his face. Liam winked and continued. 

"I don't think I knew it at first, but I definitely knew it by the time we made the deal that got us here today. I was eleven years old, and even then, I saw myself marrying you, my best friend. So we made a deal, one that some people told me was stupid: if we're both not married by the time we turn thirty years old, we would marry each other. We sound like a sappy love story with a few more bumps than others, but I wouldn't have it any other way. It's funny how the world works sometimes. Sometimes, your mother urges you to go to your high school reunion and you meet up with your future husband again, and love finds its way around the obstacles. My heart found its way back to you, Theo, and it's yours to keep."

Theo blinked back his tears, grinning widely. "Jesus, okay," He breathed, making people in the audience laugh at how thrown off he was. "Liam," He began. "I started writing my vows the night you proposed to me when you thought I was asleep. You know me, and you know my thoughts tend to take over. As I was writing them, I kept getting lost, and I write _professionally_. There was just so much to say to you that I couldn't fit into vows, so I just want to thank you, first and foremost. You've been there for me when no one else was when we were still kids, and you're my safe space then and now. When I think of someone that I always want to see no matter what, it's you. So it might be crazy for a planner like me to take you up on that deal we made seventeen years ago, but it's right. You're right, and I can't thank you enough for that."

Rings were slipped onto fingers and tears were wiped away. Theo expected this to make him feel numb from excitement, but he felt everything all at once, and it was even better.

"I now pronounce you married at last. You may kiss."

This time when they kissed, doves really did fly, and it couldn't be more perfect.

"You in love with me yet, Raeken?"

"It's Raeken- _Dunbar_. And _yes."_

+++

(1 year later)

_\- DEDICATIONS -_

_This book is hereby dedicated to  
Jenna and David Geyer, who I promised  
(and fulfilled my promise!) the dedication page  
in my first novel. Thank you for being my  
family when I felt I had none, and  
for accepting me into your lives  
with open arms._

_To Liam Dunbar, for always inspiring  
and loving me through everything.  
For being the Lucas to my Teddy, the  
love of my life, and so much more._

_To Tracy and Josh, my best friends  
who always knock some sense into me.  
Especially Tracy. How's this for a "wedding gift"  
Tracy?_

_And last but not least, to my Leo, and whoever else  
we haven't had the joy of meeting yet.  
One day (when you're much, much older)  
you'll know how your parents fell  
in love...even if it doesn't seem  
real. Love finds a way._

_The Deal We Made  
by Theo Raeken-Dunbar_

Chapter One

"You remember that deal we made in fifth grade?" Lucas asked him, and though it took a minute to register, Teddy almost spit out his drink.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading!  
> I don't know about you, but I'm always a sucker for childhood friendship turned couple. There's just so much history there! I love reading fics about it, but they're difficult to write in terms of backstory, so I'm glad I was able to get this done. I will admit that I almost scrapped this idea because it was from Liam's POV originally, but I decided to switch it and it works a lot better this way, IMO. Let me know what you think! Any likes, dislikes?  
> Comments are always appreciated <3  
> Tumblr: grenadinepeach


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